Holiday Beer.

With the holidays upon us I am reminded of how uncomfortable holiday greetings can be. Merry Christmas? Happy Hanukkah? Good Ramadan? Whatevery Kwanzaa?

Given my deep and thorough theological training, I thought I might clear up the differences in these religions for you.

You see, monotheistic religion is like American beer.

Christianity is your standard American lager. We will call it brand 'X' (in keeping with the parlance of the earliest Christian church).

If Christianity is X, then Judaism is X Lite - All of the monotheism, none of the Jesus.

Islam is then like X Dark - the Jesus is there, but the Jesus flavor is tempered by a bunch of other stuff I don't fully understand. (I understand that not understanding makes me a hate monger.)

Atheism is the O'Doul's of religion. It tastes like crap and doesn't make you feel any better about life.

Lastly, Kwanzaa is New Coke. I mean, come on. It was invented in the 80's right?


*Editor's Note: I understand that this entry makes me "part of the problem" but when I came up with that "All of the monotheism, none of the Jesus" line I had to write an entry to frame it.


Picture taken from: Professional Beer Drinkers Association